Happy Birthday Liar Face!

My friends Risky, BFF and I (I am using code names here to keep the identity of the people that I want to keep as friends safe, mostly because I am completely embarrassing on a bad day and mostly embarrassing on a good day) were out on a girls night when the topic of birthdays and when they were came up. I had mentioned to them how I lied to one of my high school friends about when my birthday was so much that to this day she still can't remember the right day.  Man I thought that I was so funny in High School as a matter of fact I still think that I am.  BFF was asked when her birthday was to which she replied "March 19". Risky then put it in her phone so that she could remember when the day was.  Jump forward to January 25th which was a measly 4 days later.  I get a frantic phone call from Risky that goes something like this...

Risky:Bff's birthday is in March right?

Me: Yeah that's what she told us.

Risky: Well, she is a liar face.  According to Facebook TODAY is her birthday!

Me: What? Hold on a second I need to log onto Facebook.  Holy Crap today is her birthday! She lied to us.

Risky: It's kinda freaky how well she lied to us

Me: I'm not ashamed to say that I am sorta proud of her right now.

Risky: We have to get her back.  How are we going to get her back?

Both thinking quietly and texting BFF about what a great big fat liar face she is and how we can't believe she lied to us.

Risky: I know lets throw her a surprise party on her fake birthday, March 19th (insert malicious laughter and rubbing together of hands here) But, we have to do something first to throw her off the scent.  Lets throw a different party for her first.  We will just pick her up and take her out to dinner with some of her close friends.

Me: Great idea.

We did just how we planned we took her out with a small group of friends ( a good idea since she doesn't like being the center of attention and all). But we still had plans for her birthday on the 19th of March.

A couple week before the party we set things in motion.  I was put in charge of getting BFF to Risky's house because I am such a good liar and all.  Now I feel like I need to defend myself here I don't think of myself as a good liar as much as a good actor.  Frequently when I do "lie" or as I refer to it as "act" I tell on myself quickly afterwards. Every once in a while I forget that I have told said lie and later down the line I do have to confess. But I do confess.  Which makes me think that I am in fact a better actor then I am a liar.

Back to my story...

Two weeks before her party Risky and I started feeling out the situation.  We had to figure out if her husband was on call that night (He husband in fact knew nothing of the party and when he found out about it after the fact was very jealous of BFF for getting a party thrown for here.  Risky and I went back and forth about if we should tell BFF's husband about the party and ultimately decided not to. Not because we thought that he couldn't keep a secret. OK I am lying, acting it is totally because we thought that he couldn't keep a secret. We also thought that if by chance he did keep the secret that he would give the party away by acting differently that day). If she wanted to have a girl's night? and if she was OK with doing the girls night on a Monday?  And many more of those important questions.

The day before the party was my time to shine.  I got to "act" my butt off (if only it were that easy).  I texted her about Risky and how she was having such a hard time in her "condition". I really laid it on thick about how hard Risky's life was at the time. I even told her that Risky nearly broke down crying during church about it all.  And how later Risky's husband would corner me and tell me how concerned he was for her.

Everything was going all fine and dandy until BFF decided to get all over come with guilt and told me what a bad friend she was for not noticing all of the things that were going on with Risky. I almost caved right then and there.  Almost.  I felt so bad. But I did what actors do, stayed in character and kept playing my part.  I kept it up as we planned to go and visit Risky the following night.  We were going to bring her a present and a treat to help lighten her mood.  The plan was set for both surprises!

The next day at 7:30 the ladies that were coming to the party were met and bussed out to Risky's house (so that when I got there with BFF she wouldn't see all of the car's parked at Risky's house and be all, What the Crap? and ruin the surprise).  I was then set to pick up BFF.  There was a snag.  There was some people running behind and I had to stall.  And that was when my most important "Acting" role began.

BFF opened the door and excitedly showed me the "Butt Plug" that she had gotten as a gag gift for Risky. I then asked her if I could run by my house to pick something up.  But when I was done with that I had to stall more.  We then went to the grocery store to pick up a treat.  By the time I pulled up to Fred Meyer I received the OK to deliver the package. We quickly ran into Fred Meyer and hopped back into the car to take the package to her final destination.

On the way over to Risky's house I "acted" and bs'ed about everything.  But inside my brain was going a hundred miles an hour. I had to physically stop myself from speeding more.  My heart was beating and I was sweating.  It was like I was going on a first date all over again.  Finally I pulled into Risky's house and I did some awkward little shuffle thing where I was going first up the walk, then I fell behind for her, then bolted up in front of her.  I couldn't decide which was better. Yeah it was weird.  I knocked on the door and let us in.  Risky was just hanging out on the couch. My biggest fear was that BFF was going to be all "Hey Risky here is a butt plug I bought for you.  I hope it makes you feel all better. Because we all know how much better you will feel with your very own handy dandy butt plug".  When that didn't happen it turned into my biggest disappointment of the night.

The plan was and it worked out perfectly that they ladies would hide around the corner and when they saw her they would all jump out and yell at her.  When she finally rounded the corner she was attacked with silly string.  A look of horror and confusion was all over her face.  She turned to me and asked "What is going on"?

I yelled "Surprise Happy Fake Birthday Liar Face!"

We had a great party and I went home in a carb induced coma.  All the way back to drop off BFF we talked about my great lying acting abilities and how the world should be afraid of my skills. How I was up there with Madonna, Kristen Stewart, or any of the other Jessica's in Hollywood.  I will aim for an Oscar but will settle for a Golden Globe.