My new vice

     I decided last year that I needed to take up a new vice. I strongly believe that everyone needs one, two, or even six vices just to make a well rounded individual.  I already have one vice.  I drink way too much.  I will be the first to admit that. Wait let me reword that. I drink way to much Dr. Pepper. I wake up every single morning. I say my morning mantra. "I hate mornings' ( I always like to start the day off on a positive note), turn off my alarm clock, Remind my kids that they have to get their skinny butts ready for school, then head downstairs to pour myself a Dr. Pepper. The Nectar of the Gods. At least that is what I call it. I even have a catchy little song I sing in my head while I pour it into my cup.  But that could be a whole different blog post. Also I did mention it was my vice right?
     Anyway I digress, I thought about it for a while and I came up with a new vice.  I would start swearing.  When I happened to mention it on my Facebook page my friends so kindly reminded my that I already swear.  That being said I had to change my vice to start swearing..... more. That seemed more accurate anyway.
     I grew up in a land foreign to many.  Ok I grew up in Utah.  But in ways it seems foreign to many.  There all the cute little mommy's who didn't want to ruin there children would use catchy little phrases to replace the more well known phrases that contained swearing in it.   Some of my favorite things that are said there are, "Oh my heck" (I think that is strictly a Utah saying), "Holy Crap", and of course "Gosh darn it". My mom was not one of those mommy's.  To this day she will tell you that her favorite word is Shit.  She claims it describes everything , "It smells like shit", "You look like shit", "I feel like shit".  And I have to agree. That is why in part that I decided to take up swearing....  more.  I on the other hand have chosen the word Dammit.
     I knew that I had choice the right vice when one day my then 14 year old daughter said that I had woke her up in the middle of the night yelling dammit at the gingerbread houses that I was trying to put together for the kids to decorate.  This isn't the first time that my kids have caught onto my swearing and repeated what I have said.  I have a clear picture in my head of this same daughter of mine at a innocent 3 years of age yelling at me that she "CAN'T GET THE DAMN SEAT BELT ON".  Then there was this one time when my son at the ripe old age of 5 asked me "What the hell is wrong with the computer"?  He happened to say this in front of my MIL and the conversation went something like this.

5 y/o: "What the hell is wrong with the computer"'?

MIL: "What did you just say"?

5 y/o: "I said what the hell is wrong with the computer".

MIL " You shouldn't say that". Then proceeds to tell him why he shouldn't say that word at the same time staring at me for teaching him such choice words.

FIL: walks into room "What's going on? What did he say"?

MIL: "He said What the HECK is wrong with the computer".

FIL  Then proceeds to tell him why he shouldn't say that word at the same time staring at me for teaching him such choice words.

In walks BIL "What's going on? What did he say"?

I having had just about enough of this turned to my BIL and said " He said What the hell is wrong with the computer so leave him the HELL alone about it". Ahh that felt good.

    Theses are just a few times that my swearing has come back to bite me on the... well, ass.  I know what your thinking.  You are thinking that I probably didn't need to take up swearing.... more.  But you know what?  It has just kinda grown on my and I just don't know if I can quite now or even if I want to.